Day 1: Fear

All my life, I have suffered from an irrational fear of lizards. Just a glimpse of one would leave me breathless and quaking and needing to pee. I don’t know why. I don’t remember any childhood lizard-related trauma, like seeing one staring up at me from a bowl of Raisin Bran or dropping onto my head while I played on a seesaw, but these things defy explanation. I also have a fear of long, painted fingernails. This one is not irrational. Read this if you dare.

So when I moved to Hawaii, I knew that I would have to deal with this. It was on my list:

  • Buy a car
  • Figure out how to drive it
  • Get homeowner’s insurance
  • Re-cover the ugly blue chair
  • Learn how to grow papayas
  • Eat a pink hot dog
  • Make peace with lizards

They are everywhere, were here long before I got here, will be here long after I’m gone. So unless I planned to arm myself with smelling salts or live in a bubble, I would have to cope. But I am nothing if not resilient. Each morning as I settled onto my mat for morning yoga, I would feel beady eyes fixed on me and have to force my heart to slow, my breathing to deepen. And it worked. Like so many of life’s little unpleasantries, I found a way to make peace with something I cannot change, should not even mess with. I have even come to see them as kinda cute, as long as they stay out of my Raisin Bran and off my seesaw. The cats have agreed to enforce this policy.

I have a feeling that the Tangerine Tinted Buffoon could learn from this experience.

5 thoughts on “Day 1: Fear

  1. Too funny—but irrational fears are a reality. I guess my telling you that when one ran over my hand the other day at our canoe club (I was holding one end of a heavy table and thus couldn’t go off shrieking like a banshee)…it actually just felt like little velvet pads? Not buying that, are you?


    1. Almost as much fun as the cockroach that ran across my bare foot when I was on crutches in a tiny Japanese apartment. There was a great deal of clattering.

      Would love to see you shriek like a banshee one of these days. That must be a sight.


  2. Come on Eda, the little geckos that share your living space remove more of those annoying insects than you ever notice. They are environmentally friendly and are a non toxic alternative to spraying bugs with insecticides! “Beady eyes” watching you do yoga has got to be less disturbing than flys and other winged insects landing on you and disturbing the peace of your yoga practice. Paradise is a place on the circle of life, embrace your spot on the wheel and try not to notice the geckos at the bottom!


    1. Oddly enough, we don’t have any mosquitoes here but we do have flies and they drive me bats during yoga sometimes. I have discussed this with the geckos but they say they don’t like the taste. Same with the little fire ants, although I can’t really blame them for that. But taken all in all, this is still paradise. If it was perfect it would be boring, right?


  3. Glad you found a way to co-exist. 😀 I personally love lizards, they are ancient and awesome. It’s the little bugs that bother me, mostly roaches. Just gross.

    Side personal note to you: We got orders and are heading to San Diego early 2020, if we plan a trip to Hawaii while there I’ll give you a heads up and hope we can get together again. 🙂


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